Dear White Friends...

 

Dear white friends,

Let’s cut to the chase, it’s not enough to be not racist. Not in 2021. That stance is passive and helps keep you comfortable. You have to be anti-racist. Voting for Trump or any Republican in this current political climate is not being anti-racist. It is in fact an actively racist act even if you don’t think you or your loved ones fit the description of a racist.

Please know that your passivity during this past 2020 election cycle was racist and you need to own it. Just own it. If you don’t like how it feels to hear that, then consider making some changes in your life with the things you do going forward.

Having the privilege to ignore the disgusting actions of the soon-to-be former president and his ilk, and then feeling the need to defend that act is shamefully disrespectful to anyone in your inner circle who is still fighting the good fight against racism and hate in America today.

Making excuses for friends or family who voted for Trump by saying that, “not all republicans” or “they’ve always voted for that party” isn’t a valid justification and to say it to a Black person or any person of a marginalized group is insulting and hurtful.

If you had friends or family vote for Trump in the 2020 election, know that your Black friends aren’t judging you personally. We know better. We are judging you for how you choose to respond, however.

You don’t need to defend your parents, aunts, cousins, or best friends to us. They get to own their choices. Their choices aren’t yours. If you feel the need to defend those loved ones, know that your Black, friends are side-eyeing you for the need to defend the privileged members of your clan. The privileged don’t need defending. I’ll say it again, your privileged parents don’t need defending!

Votes for Trump fall into one of these two categories; either you align with everything he believes and has done and a vote for him is a reinforcement of those beliefs or his abhorrent behaviors weren’t enough of a reason to vote against him and so you passively voted for hate instead. That’s it. It’s not more complicated than that.

This wasn’t about fiscal responsibility or abortion rights or taxes.

Remember, racism is a “spectrum disorder”, as I call it. There is systemic racism and Nazi/Klansmen on one end and your microaggressions or your passive GOP vote on the other end with varied degrees of racism in between.

Do you need to reevaluate your relationships with the Trump voters in your life? Maybe. Maybe not. No one is asking you to cut ties with your family over their vote. No one is asking you to fight the good fight and try to change their minds about their racist vote. That’s on you. You decide how much anti-racism activism you want to take on.

But for the love of all things David Beckham, what we are asking you to do is to stop telling us how “not racist” they are because it’s NOT true and your Black friends are tired of hearing it.

We are tired of smiling though your tirade of justifications. We are just plain tired. We have other things to fight for and fight against. Arguing with well-intentioned friends who are missing and dismissing our emotional trauma shouldn’t be one more thing we have to do.

Dismissing how emotionally draining this topic is only adds to the trauma of our lives in a climate where almost two months post-election, we still see Trump flags flying proudly on our neighbors houses. Where folks online are still falsely claiming voter fraud and professing their love of Trump and hatred for all things Black or frankly, all things decent and human.

So moving forward in 2021 where we continue to fight this global pandemic and enjoy having a functioning president in the white house, we ask that you end the excuses.

Own your own racism (even if you voted for Biden) and the racism of your friends and family. Decide on your own how you wish to deal with them, but don’t put that burden on your Black friends. Don’t ask us to ignore how we are made to feel. Don’t dismiss how our Black kids feel. And stop defending the privileged.

Black Lives Matter!

Happy New Year!